Today it is Lastma, tomorrow it is Agbero/area boys or police officers, the drama of Lagos continously unfolds and I never want to be caught in the wrong spot.

♥ Lara

11pm-March 31st, 2008: While gisting with my room mates my phone rang...Looking at the screen, It was an ex I had not spoken to in a very long time, even though, our halls of residence is a walkable distance.

Hi what's whats up, I said, we spoke for some couple of minutes and He promised to call me back. Hung up the phone and continued my gist with my room-mates.

12.30am-April 1

Oblivious of the date, my friend's number appeared on my phone screen, but the voice was strange

Hello is this Lara, the voice said.

Yes,speaking, I said

I am calling from LUTH at Idi-araba, he said. My heart skipped, this can't be good.

Jide just had an accident outside the school... he said,Your was the last number he dialed, that is why I am calling. Do you know how to get across to his family or friends.

Was already up on my seat, cracking my brain, truthfully I do not have any number of his friends not to talk of his family, see me see wahala...What would I do. You know what call me back in like 20 minutes, I would see what I can do, I said.

Lost and not sure what to do, can't even leave the hostel, gates been closed since 12 sharp.

Turning to my cousin, who happens to be my roommate and also know the dude, Tola, someone just called me and He said Jide just had an accident, I said. Everyone was quiet at that point, gist over...every one was suddenly sober.

Do you have Micheal or Ibrahim's number(These are Jide's friends and we all used to roll in Year 1), I said

Are you serious, thought he just called you some minutes back, where did this happening, she just kep barging me with question...where is my phone, think I should have Micheal's number...Unfortunately for us, she had a lot of Micheal stored on her phone, we had to start dialing from the first Micheal till we finally called the right one.

Micheal, where are you, She asked.

In the room, he said

Someone just called Lara and said Jide just had an accident, She told him. Are you serious, he just left the room and said he was coming, where did this happening, He said.

Someone is with his phone, call his number, we are also not sure what happened, do we meet outside your hall or ours, Tola said.

You know what, let me inform the other and we will come over to your hall.

Was already pull my nightwear and puttling on the available clothes in sight, even my room mates who did not know who we were talking about, were already getting dressed to follow us. At that moment, my phone rang, we are already on our way, I said into the phone.

April Fool, The voice said. What do you mean by april fool, still not getting the gist. At that  moment, Tola grabbed the phone from me and said to Jide, You are not serious, you want to give us hypertension.

That was when it dawned on me, I had just been April Fooled, we all started screaming in the room.

At that moment, someone screammed fire, fire and forgeting about the accident gist, we all ran out of the room. The corridor was already filled with girls outside their room, runing towards the stairs, not even bothered to know which room was actually burning.

When it dawned on us that it was a ruse, every one was pretty much angry..see as girls were cursing, heavy curses oh on the chick that screamed. Throughout that day, anything anyone told me was not believed and was actaually confirmed to be true before accepting.

Eyin brooda mi ala so dudu

Aye yin re lo de

I watched in dismay as an ordinary conductor asked if you were blind.

Me self wey sabi my right no dare ask you that kin question.

“You no dey see”, He said

“How many times you wan collect money”,

“Abi you dey craze ni”

You no kuku talk anything, and realizing you have collected money from him earlier, let him go.

Ordinary Lastma official get rep pass you.

The fear of Lastma is the beginning of wisdom in Lagos,

They say if na police, na money he go chop.

You no dey shame at all.

Even your Ex-Minister self no fit vouch for you.

He brusquely described you a failure.

Now you no longer collect N20

It is N50 for Okada riders, N100 for bus…

You prefer trailers and tanker drivers,

those one na from N500 their   money start.

If you need change, meet any police Officer,
He is sure to have lower denominations of the Naira.

You say bail is free, but if I am unfortunate to cross the counter at your station, I must to drop money.
Oga police don turn marketer, Oga DPO na manager and your Station don turn bank.
You say you are my friend and you that you are always at my service...I
f thief come, na you go first comot uniform, jump enter gutter, leaving me to my faith...
You are my worst enemy and most definitely not my friend.

Our 21st...


from her birthday Yesterday...


Me, Detola Bakre and Deola Sanni...(The three of us are like glued together...All Maternal First Cousins)

The people of Ejigbo-Isolo, just love been in the news...and the news self is always death related.

Since this week started, I have been getting to work pretty late and the earliest i have entered that office is 9.30.

Today, a thief was mobbed and burnt to death on the road and the traffic was mad...It was actually a standstill. After waiting in the bus for more an hour, I finally carried my leg and joined the troop marching down the road, even those on the bike had to come down and joined the marching troop. No road for the Okada men to even squeeze themselves.

When people get to the spot where the dude was burnt, they would park their car/okada/leg and look and exclaim, rain curse on the dead thief before fianlly making way for the next batch coming along not minding the fact that they were already late for work or wherever it is they are going to or that some people like actually are not interested in drama and have Ogas waiting for us at work. The Lastma officials were jejely minding their own business and not interested in arresting or even cautioning anybody. Even the police officers could not be bothered.

Finally I entered the office, at 10mins to 10, luckly for me, my colleque who also lives at Ejigbo, arrived some minutes before me, so the reason for my lateness was accepted. Oga Madam was coming to the office, so we had to make sure every thing was in order and in place.

I have never met her till some minutes back, but I have heard so much, my ear was filled...Every one in this office is in awe of her. Even her bankers self fear the woman, least she vex carry her account comot for their bank...After the numerous meeting, she called for the new girl which is me.

The woman just dey fire me questions, It was more like she was interviewing me all over again...She asked for my last place of work, what it was I was doing, what the coy was into, no be small thing. From what I found out, I am the only staff in her coy whose recruitment, she knew nothing about...It was MD who interviewed me.

At some point She asked my colleque if she was difficult to work with, abeg wetin she expect make the poor lady say, that she is difficult.

My first meeting with her so far is good and I hope to have a smooth sail with her while am here, because am told being on the wrong side of the page is not a good option

Yet another death recorded
Less than 3 weeks after they were called back to start manning the crazy traffic at the jakande-Ikotun road, the another death has been recorded in the hands of the Lastma officials. But this time around they also recorded a death on their part.
Sometimes I wonder the kind of recruitment process the officials of these operatives go through before they selected. To me, they all bunch of rouges and theives.

Now traffic in my end has moved from Go-slow to standstill...Lastma officials are now permanently banned from my end. In short, it seems Fashola has packed them off the streets of Lagos, because I have not seen them any where since the incident last Monday.

From the gist, the Lastma official mercilessly beat the old man till he gave up the ghost...right in front of the man's child. Imagine watching your father been beaten to death...The Lastma dude had been a terror in that end, with even commuters complaining about him. He was one who never use to hear a plea, once he arrests a car, that car must enter their office no. No amount of begging stops the guy. When the first death occured, every one thought he was the one.

He met his waterloo that day, am sure if any one had told the old man and the Lastma official , particularly the Lastma officail, that day was going to be thier last on earth, they would have cursed whoever gave such prophesy. The mob on confirming the old man dead, turned on the Lastma guy and also gave him the taste of his bitter pill resulting in his own death.

Fashola has seriously got to do something about those his thugs, i think they need to go through psychological test at Yaba left because some of them are actually deranged. For now, we have to make do with the Police controlling traffic,and these ones are more concerned about their N100 than the traffic.For them, the longer the traffic, the more the money they make in a day.

Gaddaffi says we should split,and some people agree with him
and I ask, are we to split on the bases of our religious difference or our geographical location/ethnicity?

If splited on basis of religion...
Do the traditionalist get a nation of their own,
Do the Christian all come come together to form a whole nation, likewise the muslims?
Does religion rid us of our ethnic prejudices?

If splited on the basis of ethnicity...
Do the southerners lay claim to christianity and what happens to we southern muslim,
Do the Northerners lay claim to islam and what then happens to the Northern christians?
Do i have to convert my religion on the basis of my nationality? or
Do i change my nationality on the basis of my religion?


What Gaddaffi does not know and fellow Nigeria who support this view is that no part of Nigeria can lay 100% claim to a particular religion. He sighted the case of India and Pakistan. India is a 90% Hindu nation, while Pakistan is also about 90% islamic and I guess the reason for their fight was religious.

Our problem is not just religious, in short it is not a religious issue but our dysfunctional socio-ethnic and polical configuration and thinking.

Until I am given a concrete reason and answer, then would i support the resolution to split.