Pulling the Gender card

My friends always wondered why I never went back to complete the Diploma program I registered for in Private Polytechnic. The excuse I gave was that it was clashing with my final year in the University and even though I was not your model student in class I was not in anyway ready for any extra year. Well this is why I never returned:
It was a really stressful rainy morning in 2007, the maths' lecturer had just given some impromptu test and I cannot remember why I was in such a shitty mood. It was a really cold morning as there had been rain the night before. We were waiting for the lecturer to come in and this boy walked into the class and switched on the fan which was directly above my head. The girl sitting beside me complained and told him to switch it off but he refused.

Not saying a word, I stood up to switch off the fan. He got up and switched it on again, I was mad and I got up again to switch off the fan. He stood by the switch and as I tried to switch off the fan again, he pushed me.

I staggered and almost fell, I was like 4 years older than this guy and I was really hot-tempered back then, I landed him a terribly hot slap. Terribly hot I say because I felt the pain. He tried to hit me again and I landed him another slap. For every hand he raised to hit me, he got a slap before his hand came down, I gave him about 4 slaps that morning.

I was terribly irritated when instead of my lecturers to listen to what happened, all I heard was "What audacity did I have to slap a boy". Like these people were freaking kidding me, a guy had pushed me and tried to hit me and you are asking me why I slapped him. After that session, I never returned to the school because I never forgave my lecturers and so listening in their class was difficult for me.

I watched the video of DKB slapping Zainab in the on going Big Brother Africa game. I also watched when Hannigton hit Lerato in the Big Brother Africa Season 5 series. I hear the 2 Zimbaweans have also been evicted from the house for violence.

I am really not one for violence but when you provoke people, particularly when you emotionally provoke them, you deserve what you get, shikena. That is my 2 cents. Women liberation all you want, it is not right for a man to raise his hand on a woman, if I was in DKB's shoes, I would do the same thing. If you watched BBA in 2010, you will remember the Lerato slap also. She also provoked Hannington, I still cannot get which   is worse. I don't get why there is so much violence in BBA self, these people are practically doing nothing that makes sense for 3 months so I guess they just feel good flexing muscle.

I actually hate when the whole gender card is pulled out when it is glaring to all that the gender been supported is the one at fault. Women are nowadays are becoming unnecessarily aggressive, because after watching the whole DKB/Zainab slap video I just wanted to dash Zainab another slap for embarrassing the women community like that. Your mouth cannot be running like that like that and not get slapped. Shebi they say she is married, what is she looking for in the bathroom when the guy was taking his bath.

 I have seen women openly provoke their men just like Zainab did, some even worse. I have seen women stand up to bullying men. Some women now even assault their men and when the man dares raise his hand, she will shout and cry crocodile tears. We need to stop justifying our bad actions and run under the cover of gender  violence/inequality when we get what we deserve. I am a no violence to women and children supporter but I would not castigate the man if the women is to blame for the violence. Don't go looking for trouble and start crying foul when you experience the consequences.

This is my two cents...forgive all typos.

Kisses from Bonn
♥ Lara

Molara Brown


  1. Hmmm... I just feel violence is never the right way to solve any problem; no matter the gender. We must always ensure we settle things amicably; if its not possible, one person can always walk away. Several people have died in the process of fighting for their right through invoking some feats of violence. Its not worth it I think. What I do is talk and pass across my point. I try not to raise hands...

    - LDP

    1. unfortunately not everybody is that strong to walk away...I know because I was never that strong enough to walk away.

  2. Violence never is the way to go. It's a slippery slope for anyone who engages in it. I haven't been following the BBA show so don't know much about that.

  3. i think the whole BBA thing is a waste of time and money.
    i agree with you, sometimes people get so annoying that slapping them is not enough punishment for what they did

  4. May I just say I have no comments because:
    1. I think BBA is a waste of time and money
    2. I have not and will not be seeing the video
    3. Whatever I say would be based on hearsays and not objectivity
    4.You captured my POV by stating that women should act right and stop flashing the gender card!

  5. I don't even care for BBA, just nonsense TV.

  6. Yes, Violence is never acceptable (regardless of gender). I do think men should especially be cautious though - for the simple reason that they tend to be physically stronger than their partners,and things can quickly get out of hand. How's Germany, Lara?. Hope it's warm at the moment.

  7. There are better ways of settling disputes. Violence isn't the right way. You shouldn't threaten, you shouldn't act on it. Be adult. Walk away. simples.

    I just watched the videos and sorry Lara, but I am playing the gender card. Those guys were acting from old age patriarchal norms imbedded in their brain from birth - where a woman shouldn't talk back or point fingers or go head to head with you. You could almost see the 'HOW DARE SHE?' lights snapping in his brain.
    Nobody was chosen on BBA cause they were weaker sexed. They all had equal capacities to bring something to the show, so it stands that none of them has the right to tell another to shut up cause they don't need to be heard.
    Same thing you see in the fight that happened in the National Assembly some time ago.

    What's all the fuss about opening bathroom door anyway, when millions are watching you for free. abeg. Stupid show to start with.

  8. On a humorous note, let me just add, that if those girls were 6'5 and had muscles like Laila Ali, those guys would have thought twice before they threatened. Which male wants to be trounced by a 'girl' on Global TV?

    1. hehehe...dem no fit oh, but she ma go respect herself

  9. Kai 4 slaps by you? Na wa oo.

    I have never watched any Big Brother sha but I would never condone violence. Gender or no gender

  10. Kai, I hate blogger sometimes. My well thought-out comment just disappeared :(

    I watch big brother altho this year is boring.com. The koko is, from the little I saw of dkb, he is demeaning & condescending to women. I often wondered what cave he crawled out of. He had no respect at all for women. In his audition tape, he mentioned "you slap me, I slap you" That's like screaming "I don't have self control" yet they allowed him in the show.

    Bottom line, what ever you do in blind rage could land you in jail so violence is never the way. My 3cents

  11. My two cents:
    (1) Violence is never a solution
    (2) Why are they swearing so much...classy? NOT
    (3) Some women I know seem to actually invite violence by 'verbally prodding' aggressive men
    (4) Some men lack self control and should avoid getting wound up

  12. i know soo much swearing as in.. am with NIL on this..

    true talk..

  13. Sheeeeet!!! I remember why I loved Sheila, while that one was standing there dazed with his dada she was the one holding Hannington back and telling him to 'chill his a** down* lol. No comment about what happened there but the first video? Hahahahaha, whoever put it together is a hilarious monkey, the babe had it coming mehn. I can't even blame him for it. I'm never for violence and i believe men should use more self control when in arguments with women BUT if you get in someone's face be ready to have them call your bluff!

    How you dey jare? Been a minute