A Year Like No other: When Work is a coping Mechanism

Sometimes I can’t recognize my life!⁣⁣

It has been one long year.

2020 came for all of my emotions ⁣⁣
I was clinging on to my morsel of happiness by a thread.⁣⁣
These times have been overwhelming!⁣⁣

Death came knocking once again in the month of June, this time, it came for a good friend. One of the most beautiful souls I met off this Obasanjo's Internet. He was a travel and photography lover and that was our bond.

We went from briefly chatting on a Saturday night to news of his death on Monday morning. I remember our last chat on IG when he said we needed to take a trip again and I responded "Post COVID".

Nowadays, I remember our fears about COVID and it didn't even matter because when death came calling, it was not COVID but death came when it was time.

It has been hard to process it all. 
Harder because I am not able to escape.

I have gone this year without taking any vacation days
Maybe a sick day or two and a one-day bereavement leave when my cousin passed.

Work has been a coping mechanism.
It is not healthy but this is what is not making me lose my shit lately. I am not even thinking of work-life balance at this moment.
I spend the day thinking of work, I find myself working and sending emails at 2am🙈
Old Lara is screaming at this behavior.

I am slowly weaning myself off this.
I no longer work weekends, I try my best to take the time off and just either spend the day sleeping or gisting with my mum.
I finally moved out of my aunt's house. 
It's almost 2 months of living in my own space alone even though I have only spent 2 weekends in it. Saturday night always meets me at my mother's house.

Adulting and a life of responsibility is another scale.
I miss the days when I only have to think about saving to travel, now I am thinking of my rent for next year even though my rent is not due in the next 7 months.

I really do miss travel.
Travelling is so expensive nowadays.
I just jejely closed the browser when I saw so-called black Friday deals.

I can't believe I will be ringing the new year in this Lagos.

I am counting down to the end of the year.
But first, I am looking forward to the close of business on the 18th.

It's been one long year
A year like no other.

Until I come down the streets again👋

Molara Brown

1 comment:

  1. I get this.
    I think maybe because i also dealt with back to back occurences of loss, so i get how it messes with one's mind, hope and faith - especially for those who are prone to deeply consider things. Take it one day at a time Lara. Don't burn out. Life at the end of the day is still a beautiful thing and is worth living.
    You should blog me :)